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Monday 4 April 2022

DAME OPHELIA MOUNTSHAFT, a poem by Tom Leonard

 

                    DAME OPHELIA MOUNTSHAFT, COMPANION OF THE GARTER


                                                                  by Tom Leonard

                                                              Inspired by Jim Liddle



                                                                                    





                               She's ever so important

                               She mixes with the princelings,

                               queen mothers, and visiting Heads of State.

                               She charges five hundred guineas a time

                               For her speeches at soirees,

                               And always makes an eloquent joke.

                               Stands for trans rights.

                               Sits for portraits.

                               Claps for carers;

                               Goes out with her handbell in full matron's uniform

                               On haunted Broughton Street, as far as the Ox.

                               Sings 'We shall overcome' like Pete Seger.

                              She's descended from the marmaids of Saint Senera

                              Who thrive on the Isle of May

                              And when she swims down the Firth,

                              The manatees come out to prey,




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