HERNIATED LIVER, A poem by Tom Leonard about his non-existent herniated liver

                                                                         

    I heard about my "herniated liver" from my former GP on 6th October 2019, following a variety of apparently contradictory bits of information from the NHS. I won't know for several days how serious it is and whether I will need surgery, While googling HERNIATED liver, I came across a variety of strange looking diagrams which completely bemused me, Hence my poem

                           HERNIATED LIVER
                               by Tom Leonard


                           My herniated life,

                           Mentally detached

                           Struggling to grasp

                           Ideas in the hatch

                           Emotions on the latch

                           Pain in the neck, the girls called me

                           Pain in the chest, God punished me

                           It's muscular skeletal, cried slick Dr. Orynx in A and E

                           Then pain in the gut 

                           It's reflux, just reflux, opined the third GP on the phone

                          And the CT scan stayed long undeciphered

                          As I whirled neurodiverse on the spectrum

                          Until the angel doctor jingled and jangled

                          Your liver has herniated into your chest

                          Leaving your organs slightly awry

                          And, whoops I've just discovered,

                         Dr. Annie Amplify has been asked to amplify 

                         And she'll contact you from the Royal Inf,

                         Or not,

                         Meanwhile they'll do an ultrasound to check the cysts in your neck,

                         I've got a herniated liver! I declared

                         You certainly are, replied Scott, studying the quantum book.