THIS PIGGY TORY WENT TO MARKET (poem)

                                              THIS PIGGY TORY WENT TO MARKET

                                                         by Thomas Hoskyns Leonard



                                                                                  

This piggy Tory went to market,                                                           Wiggle the big toe

And bought a fluffy Cameron for a midnight hump,                             Stretch the pinky

But he turned into a sugary lump.                                                         Stretch the long toe

This piggy Tory stayed home                                                               Wiggle the long toe

With a fancy Osborne to roam,                                                             Twist nose

But George's rear end turned into a huge pink dome,                           Hold nose

This piggy Tory had roast beef                                                             Wiggle the middle toe

And I.D.S. as an aperitif,                                                                       Stretch tongue

Until that nasty man rolled over with a death cry plaintive.                           Pull ears

This piggy Tory had none                                                                     Wiggle the ring toe

While squashing Teresa May's mouth with his left bun,                      Tickle tonsils

But she stuck out her tongue and enjoyed the fun,                               Squish tummy button

And this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home,                 Wiggle the pinky

While taking William Hague on a jaunt carefree,                                Tickle the bottom of foot

But he most malevolently disposed of his pee.                                     Tickle tummy











APPENDIX: THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MARKET

Words/Fingerplay

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none,
And this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home.^[2]

Wiggle the "big" toe
Wiggle the "long" toe
Wiggle the "middle" toe
Wiggle the "ring" toe
Wiggle the "pinky" and tickle the bottom of the foot