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Thursday, 28 May 2015

PRIVATE CHIROPODIST IN ABBEYHILL (Poem)

                                 

                                         PRIVATE  CHIROPODIST IN ABBEYHILL

                                                
                                                         by Thomas Hoskyns Leonard

                                                       Ably assisted by Scott Forster


                                                       
                             
                               She tweaks my feet;

                               Ain't that neat?

                               Snips my toes;

                               Listens to my woes
           
                               That only my naff flatmate knows,

                               And without any pokes or blows!

                               Reads my blog;

                               Clears my fog;

                               Princess to my frog;

                               She's my agony aunt

                               With a different slant;

                               Puts the aunt in my pedant.

                               Let's me waffle
                 
                               Without a kerfuffle;
 
                               Heals my verruca

                               Without a bazooka;

                               Not many get in this divine position,

                               But I'm a world-renowned Bayesian statistician.

                               Shaves my corns

                               Without that many yawns.

                               Abides with me,

                               Confides in me,

                               As my brain floats out to sea.

                               Oh, Alison, my dear Alison,

                               Sorry I'm so embarrassin';

                               You've touched my soul

                               With due console.

                               And elongated my star-shaped mole.

                               Tomorrow we'll merry,merry be,

                               As we roll out the barrel

                               Vibrant and carefree,
                           
                           

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