1948-2023 . Retired Statistician, Poet, author, historian and campaigner. Co-founder of International Society for Bayesian Analysis and of the Edinburgh All Comers Writers Club and Participant in the 2019 UCL Eugenics Inquiry.
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Thursday 28 May 2015
PRIVATE CHIROPODIST IN ABBEYHILL (Poem)
PRIVATE CHIROPODIST IN ABBEYHILL
by Thomas Hoskyns Leonard
Ably assisted by Scott Forster
She tweaks my feet;
Ain't that neat?
Snips my toes;
Listens to my woes
That only my naff flatmate knows,
And without any pokes or blows!
Reads my blog;
Clears my fog;
Princess to my frog;
She's my agony aunt
With a different slant;
Puts the aunt in my pedant.
Let's me waffle
Without a kerfuffle;
Heals my verruca
Without a bazooka;
Not many get in this divine position,
But I'm a world-renowned Bayesian statistician.
Shaves my corns
Without that many yawns.
Abides with me,
Confides in me,
As my brain floats out to sea.
Oh, Alison, my dear Alison,
Sorry I'm so embarrassin';
You've touched my soul
With due console.
And elongated my star-shaped mole.
Tomorrow we'll merry,merry be,
As we roll out the barrel
Vibrant and carefree,
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