by Thomas Hoskyns Leonard
To Nicola Romanski
Strange creature rising from Daedalus,
Pink pointed face, pentagon of udders for breasts,
Sturdy, Grecian thighs.
Why are you in my house
Treating me like a church mouse
While you pontificate about things from the skies?
So off to the Lammermuirs we go,
With Leofric the Manx cat in full flow
And there over the wind farm
Hangs a fully-fledged rainbow!
O'er the rainbow you're suddenly gone
Divesting yourself of your purple thong
'Thank goodness for that,' exclaims Leofric, the cat,
'I never could stand that twat.'
But at t'other end of the rainbow
There emerges the most beautiful maiden I have ever seen,
Full breasted, cute-arsed, and plenty of spleen.
'Come with me, to the Goblin Ha'' she cries;
'I'll treat you to cullen skink, and a brace of haggis too,'
I replied, and that day I could have died.
Composer's Notes: Composed while rousing myself from a sleep fog
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