A thought for Christmas: Beware the psychopath in your family or working environment, and the way he/she triangulates against you! See also
20. AN INTERESTING CASE STUDY
***Consider an accurately reported real-life scenario where 'Jason', who suffers quite seriously from A.D.D., soon afterwards forgave his older brother 'Victor' for bullying and sexually humiliating and abusing him between the ages of 10 and 16. Their militaristic father didn't get on with Victor, for reasons currently only known to Jason and a close relative, and was thought by Victor to regard Jason as his favourite son.
***Victor continues to completely dominate and put down Jason in terms of personality during their years at college, but it is Jason who emerges with outstanding academic success and a doctorate at age 25. Victor expresses jealousy and envy of Jason's position in academia during the years to come.
***When he is 33, Jason experiences a year of suicidal ideation while away from his wife and family and in a city far away. Victor visits in him in apparently kindly, brotherly fashion, and while unsympathetic towards his recent potentially fatal suicide attempt by a massive drug overdose, and the possibility of further attempts, gives him a number of quite beneficial pieces of insightful advice. He for example indicates Jason's inability to notice the chipmunks as they repeatedly hop across the lake path, and advises him that if two people, such as Jason's father and wife, are having an argument then the intervention of a third party,like Jason, is only likely to fuel things up.
***Victor also untruthfully says that Jason is a totally bad person, deserved all the psychological bullying he got at high school, and that he invents stories about serious things which are supposed to have happened him. Jason accepts this deviously planned misadvice, hook, line, and sinker, and his subsequent self-loathing influences his poor mental state during the following decade or so.
*** During the course of the discussions, Victor admits, after an initial denial, to having had incestuous feelings towards Jason, and becomes very scared by the suggestion, which he categorically denies, that he (Victor) might be gay. Victor responds with some outrageously untrue comments about Jason.,
***Jason would always wonder whether it was really true that he saw rabbits in his bedroom when he was a toddler. Maybe the rabbits were an artefact of Victor's imagination, rather than Jason's. Who knows?
***Jason also learns from his brother, during the same visit, that Victor behaves in a two-faced and devious manner towards his colleagues as a highly successful company executive and future corporate director in an industrial complex e.g. by always trying to confuse his colleagues regarding his true objectives.
*** Victor a short while afterwards said that Jason would hit other children when he was young and then get upset when they didn't want to play with him again. However, while Jason distinctly remembers lashing out at school bullies on precisely three occasions during his late teens, he knows that he did not hit any other children when he was younger, He therefore thinks, early on, that Victor invented this scenario in an attempt to confuse him.
***During Jason's subsequent separation from his wife and divorce, Victor and his wife bad mouth him to his wife and father with quite gratuitous insults , and Victor much too readily advises Jason that he was totally in the wrong during his marriage, whereas Jason has always believed that he was in the right. One of Victor 's young children says something very demeaning and hair-raising to Jason after his separation from his wife which can only have been based upon a viewpoint expressed by Victor or his wife, and this has an extremely damaging effect on Jason's perspective of himself and on his future life. Indeed, it motivates Jason to make a traumatic real-life decision, against his better judgement, only a few weeks later, which will haunt him for the rest of his life.
***During a supposedly convivial meeting in Chicago a year or so later, when Victor is accompanied by two of his beer drinking shift managers, Victor suddenly turns cruelly homophobic towards Jason, after one of the shift managers throws his arm around Jason in the taxi back to the hotel, The weird rabbit-like expression on Victor's face is similar to his facial expression after he humiliated Jason in a park shelter twenty-five years previously.
***While Victor almost always claims that he totally accepts Jason's subsequent active gayness, he is homophobic towards him during a very hurtful cut down several years later after Jason advises him that he campaigns publicly against homophobia because it is a sin.
***Victor is nevertheless very kind to Jason and his family in lots of ways, and Jason, who can be remarkably slow on the uptake at times for an accomplished intellectual, still genuinely believes that his brother is well-meaning and supportive. However, following Jason's career ending breakdown when he is 52, all sorts of bad things start happening in relation to his legacy from his father, and legacies he is anticipating from his loving aunt and favourite uncle,
***Then during a birthday party which Jason throws for Victor many years later, in 2013, Victor says something extremely crass and revealing in vino veritas which makes Jason subsequently strongly suspect that Victor had been up to all sorts of funny stuff as Executor of two of the family wills.
***Jason then tracks back very thoroughly with the help of a couple of trustworthy professional friends, including an eminent retired applied psychologist who he knows personally. He, just as one example, discovers evidence from 'Eagle Alan' of further back slagging during a recent apparently convivial trip to Yorkshire. Jason determines, in his own mind, that Victor has subjected him to a pattern of sibling bullying over a period of over 55 years, starting with childhood and teenage bullying, including sexual abuse and humiliation, and followed by adult sibling bullying continuing intermittently until its denouement when Jason is 66.
***Jason believes that Victor's primary motive for bullying him as an adult was to take 'paternal approval' and then 'family approval' from him, because of the tough way their father always treated Victor (e.g. by declining to visit him and his family in their home in England while flying the Atlantic to visit Jason). He believes that Victor has 'triangulated' against him with at least two or three other close relatives and that this was partly responsible for the recent severe family bust-up. Jason wonders whether his father might have been right about Victor all along. He also wonders whether Victor may be some strange form of much-repressed closet case.
Maybe Jason needs a good lawyer. His look-alike Dickensian friend Sydney, perchance---
Sydney Carton, of Carton, Carton, and Carton
Does Victor have any psychopathic tendencies? Is he a long term psychologically incestuous closet case ? Heaven only knows. Victor has doubtlessly been able to devise some other suitably complicated interpretation. Is he a pathological liar or just a bumbling eccentric? And where does this leave the unfortunate siblings? In Purgatory squabbling together, perhaps.
Auntie Agony thinks: Jason is simply a pain in the neck who deserved everything he got.
But what do you think?
Myself aged four, having just retrieved my ball from my
ginger-haired brother, with our three cousins